Random Thoughts and Observations
Dear Jessica:
Remember when we first met? Sometimes, we need someone to push us beyond our limitations. However, this does not mean making me do push-ups. Honestly, there are no hard feelings. I am just developing a plan for reprisal.
This is not the reason for this note. Congratulations on your recent promotion. No one deserves more success in life than you. You have come a long way. The first job challenged your people skills. The long hours finally paid off.
It seems like only yesterday when you were the meet and greet girl at the Gates of Hell. As Satan’s chief of staff, I know you have a stellar career. You are finally hitting your stride. Thank you for being the woman of my schemes.
The following represent my first translation of women speak. “Aw, you are so sweet,” she said. Translation: You are a good little eunuch. Do you get your conformation e-mail? I just sent you an e-ticket. Pack your bags; you are off to the Friend Zone. This is music to every single guy’s ear.
There is nothing like quiet. Goodness, I need to apologize to my family for all the noise pollution. I understand why my parents told me to shut up so often. Quietness: it coats, soothes and relieves.
God has a sense of humor. The creation of the duck-billed platypus provides the evidence. Are you still skeptical? The career of Ryan Seacrest is another example of God’s funny bone. Seacrest has no talent. Yet, he may succeed Dick Clark in popularity. What a wonderful world.
